Re written poem 3

So after forgetting the poem that I had written yesterday, due to not saving my work, DOH!

I have tried, as much as I can, to recreate the said poem. Now I know it’s not brilliant and also it’s only half the size of the original. But I think this is the best I can do. Think it’s one of those things that you can only do on the spur of the moment or when the iron is hot as we would say back home. It seems very unfinished to me, but I may get back to it again, but to be honest, I think that moment in time that formed the poem, is gone for ever. I’m kind of happy with the lines, but I can’t help feeling that it is missing something. Ok so here it is, my new poem (from some one that is not a poet) I hope you all like it and can see some depth in the writing.

Condensation by A.M.Donaghey

As a boy I’d often watch, roles of condensation drops.

Watered surface of the glass, on winter morning’s coldness past.

Furrow down the window pain, and merge into a single lane.

Gathering upon the sill, and pooling till the tension spill.

Once the moisture of my youth, now just memories of past truth.

Just added this video file with my new poem so you can hear what I think it should read like.